|
Question: How do you get children to sleep in their own bed and to sleep without problems?K.. I have this friend who has 2 kids, ages 3 and 1. They share a room, and they won't go to bed at night. Sometimes they keep her up until after 1 in the morning. I told her to just put them in their room and don't let them out, but her oldest will lay and bang on the door so much that he has almost broke it. He has other behavior problems, and doesn't listen to anything she says. The youngest is just following his brother. But she also will wake up with them in her bed. She's almost divorced, and she has full custody of the kids, so she is the only one that is taking care of them. She's at her wits end with their sleeping habits. She is pretty much ready to give up and just let them sleep where they fall. I don't know how to tell her that it's all about her parenting style, but how do I say that without making her feel like I'm accusing her of being a "bad mother"? I don't know what to tell her to help. Any suggestions?
Answer: Wow. It sounds like there's a lot going on here, and the sleep issues are where it's playing out. Suddenly dad's gone, mom is [I assume] not having an exactly easy time either, and seems a bit overwhelmed (tuning out at bedtime, etc.). My approach would be:- Skip the movie, and do something calming *together*: read some books, snuggle, talk about what you did that day. Or watch a *short* (20 min or less) bit of movie, together.- Wash up, get into clean pajamas, have a glass of warm milk, and then put the 3 y.o. in bed.- Separate the kids' sleeping areas until the 3 y.o. has calmed down. For example, have the 1 y.o. sleep in her room (our 18month old is still in our room, sleeping through the night, in her own bed on the other side of the dresser).I can't help but feel that what the older child needs is a sense of security from mom, given all that's happened/happening: and for small kids, that means parental presence, predictable routines (so they know what's next), and clear, enforced limits. Maybe your friend could get some help for what she's going though -- let her know that she needs to be taken care of herself, so she can get stronger and be there for her kids.
|
Home
